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From the desk of the School Adjustment Counselor

September 07

School counseling services available

What is an Adjustment Counselor?

An Adjustment Counselor is a professional trained in social work or counseling and certified by the Massachusetts Department of Education as a Counselor. It is the role of the Adjustment Counselor to help students with their personal, social and academic concerns. The Adjustment Counselor meets with students individually and in small groups. The Adjustment Counselor also works with teachers, administration and parents to help all students be successful in school. The services provided by the Adjustment Counselor are a regular education service and a child does not have to be on an educational plan to access these services.

Who is the Adjustment Counselor?

Here is a little information about myself. I have a B.A. in Psychology, a Master of Social Work, I am a fully Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker (LICSW) and I am fully certified as a School Adjustment Counselor. I have over 15+ years of experience with children of all ages, however my primary experience has been in residential care with children who have severe behavioral, emotional and/or psychiatric issues.

Who refers students to the Adjustment Counselor?

School personnel ie. teachers, Principal and nurse all may refer a student to the me if they believe he or she may benefit from this service.

A parent may refer a student to me or may call me for some information, advice, suggestions or with concerns.

Students can also request to meet with me themselves for assistance with various issues including academic, social or personal matters.

What kinds of services does the Adjustment Counselor offer?

Individual meetings students
Small group meetings with students
Lunch Groups
Mediation and conflict resolution for students, parents and school staff.
Crisis intervention
Classroom activities
Transitional services for children leaving or entering Craneville (either due to a move or due to grade change)
Parent informational meetings

Where is the Adjustment Counselor located?

My office is in Room 121 in the main office.

How can I contact the School Adjustment Counselor?

I can be reached directly at the school, by phone at (413) 684-0209, or by email at jfriedman@cbrsd.org

When is the Adjustment Counselor available?

Monday through Friday, 8:15 - 3:25

Friendship – A guide for parents and guardians

1) Help your child make time for friends – children need to be given time to develop friendships. Look at their schedule to see where they have time for friends. If there isn’t enough time – consider dropping one of their activities.

2) Teach your child how to join a group – Children need to be taught how to introduce themselves, what to say, tone of voice, and body language. Practice this with your child.

3) Teach your child good sportsmanship - children must be taught how to be a good sport. Watch your child play. Reinforce good sportsmanship.

4) Help your child have a few close friends - provide opportunities for your child to develop close friendships by inviting one child over at a time.

5) Listen to your child - be patient and let your child tell you what is going on in their own words and in their own time. Use a neutral tone and rephrase what the children are saying to let them know you are really listening to them.

6) Teach the warning signs to catch anger early - annoyance, tense body, face hot, and a surge of energy.

7) Teach your child how to resolve conflicts peacefully - conflicts arise in every friendship and children need to learn how to resolve them with words instead of fighting.

8) Teach your child to communicate their feelings – “I” messages are a very effective way of letting someone know how you feel without placing blame on them “I feel ____________ because __________.”

Trying to think of some rewards for your children to help improve behavior, school performance, etc? Try the following:

Home Reward Possibilities for Preschoolers

Going to the park	Playing with friends	Getting in bed with parents
Making mud pies	Listening to a bedtime story	Playing on a swing set
Spending the night with friends or grandparents	Being lifted into the air	Feeding a pet
Rocking	Playing games	Making noises with rattles, pans, or bells
Having a horsey ride by swinging on parent’s foot	Doing a puppet play	Having parents take a Polaroid picture of the child
Talking into a tape recorder	Going out for hamburgers or pizza	Wearing dress-up clothes
Playing with clay or play dough	Going someplace alone with dad or mom	Helping plan the day’s activities
Helping mom or dad	Having a longer time in the bathtub	Riding on a bicycle with dad or mom
Whirling in a circle by arms	Watching a rainstorm	Playing in the sandbox
Sitting in the chair with dad or mom	Going to the library	Going for a picnic
Bouncing on the bed	Playing outside	Riding a tricycle
Staying up late	Going on a trip to the zoo	Getting a piggy-back ride
Having a bubble bath	Singing songs	Skipping
Delaying a nap	Flushing the toilet	Riding on dad’s shoulders
Going outside at night	Having a family night	Helping to hold baby sister or brother
Swimming	Reading a story	Mixing cookie dough
Having a special desert	Chewing gum	Finger painting
Drawing with crayons	Listening to walkman	Playing a game with parent(s)
Sitting in the front seat	Playing video game	Watching a video
Renting a video game	Renting a video	Computer time

Home Reward Possibilities for Elementary School Children

Taking a trip to the park	Playing with friends	Having a bedtime story
Playing on the swing set	Spending the night with friends or grandparents	Going to a ball game
Eating out	Going someplace alone with dad or mom	Baking something in the kitchen
Planning a day’s activities	Riding on a bicycle	Going on a fishing trip with dad or mom
Choosing a TV program	Taking time off from chores	Holding hands while walking
Using the telephone	Dressing up in parent’s clothes	Setting the table
Camping in the backyard	Going to the library	Chewing gum
Telling a round-robin story	Decorating the home for the holidays	Helping to make Jell-O, popcorn, or something similar
Helping to take a gift to a friend	Feeding the baby	Staying up late
Going to the movies, especially with a friend	Watching a video	Playing a favorite tape or CD
Coloring	Riding next to the window in the car	Skate boarding
Listening to themselves on a tape recording	Choosing the menu for a meal	Calling grandma to tell of their successes
Getting a promise to ride the escalator three or four times in a store	Putting up schoolwork on the refrigerator door	Buying something
Planting a garden	Going for a picnic	Going skating, swimming or bowling
Making something, some special craft with mom or dad	Ordering pizza	Going for a hike
Going canoeing or camping or fishing or skiing	Sleeping in a different place in the house	Doing a jigsaw puzzle
Decorating your own room	Having a special after-school snack	Having a special treat in their school lunch
Choosing a special breakfast	Playing a game with mom or dad like checkers, marbles or cards	Listening to a walkman
Computer time	Playing a video game	Renting a video game

Growing fears in today’s times make focusing on learning difficult.

A time of war can be scary for very young children, especially since terrorism has brought fear so close to home. Events are uncertain and their friends' parents, or perhaps their own parents, may be called away to serve in the military. Although you may think they are too young to understand what is happening, even very young children can absorb frightening events from the news or from conversations they overhear. Here are some tips to consider to help them during this time.

10 TIPS FOR SCHOOL-AGE CHILDREN IN A TIME OF WAR

Talk with your children. When they have questions, answer them honestly but simply and with reassurance. Ask them what they think is happening, and listen to their answers. Be ready for questions that may be difficult to answer, such as, "Why do they hate us," and "Will Daddy die when he's fighting over there."
Use your family like a security blanket for your children: wrap them up in family closeness. Especially during a time of war, make sure your children have lots of family time. Spend more time with your children playing games, reading to them, or just holding them close.
Limit the amount of news your children watch during a time of war. Turn off the TV or radio when war coverage is on. You don't need to hide what's happening in the world from your children, but neither do they have to be exposed to constant stories about war. Put away newspapers and magazines that have lengthy photo coverage of war or frightening covers.
Young children like routines and rituals. During a time of war, map out a routine and stick to it. If bedtime is the time you read stories to your children, make sure you keep that time for stories. Your child may be less able to handle change at home when the world situation is unstable.
Make sure you take care of yourself. Your children read your face for clues as to how to feel. If they fall down and see concern on your face, they will be much more likely to decide that the fall hurt. Similarly, if your face reflects the stress and fear you may feel in a time of war, they will pick up on that. Many people find that turning to a higher power, whether through organized religion or privately, can help. Take care of yourself so that you can take care of your child.
Use play to help your children express their fears about what is happening. Encourage them to use art or pretend games to express what they may not be able to put into words.
Young children want to know that they will be all right. Reassure them that they will be protected. Have an emergency plan for the family and share whatever parts of it you think your children can understand. You might tell them, for example, that home is "base" if something happens, but that Aunt Carol's house is another safe place you can visit.
Watch your children for signs of fear and anxiety they may not be able to put into words. Have your children become extra clingy, needing more hugs and kisses than usual? Have your children started wetting the bed or sucking their thumb after you thought they had outgrown that behavior? They may be feeling the pressure of what is going on in the world around them.
Enlist your children's help. Just because your children are very young does not mean they can't do age-appropriate chores, even if it's just putting placemats on the table. If your children know that they have a role to play, and that they can help, they will feel more in control and more confident.
Put things in a positive perspective for your children. Your children have not been around long enough to know that things can change and that wars can end. But they may have experienced something bad or scary that they overcame and you can point out a time when they had courage before. When you talk about bad times, make sure you talk about the good things in the future as well.

You can teach your children resilience. But just because your children have learned resilience doesn't mean they won't have bad times. Bad times hurt, and your children will have times when they aren't happy. Resilience is a journey, and each child will take his own time along the way, just as each child walked or talked in his own time. Your child may benefit from some of the resilience strategies, while some children will benefit from other strategies. The skills of resilience you teach your child in a time of war will be useful to him even after war, and they are good skills to have in daily life. You may feel that you need some help in teaching your child resilience. If you are feeling stuck or overwhelmed and unable to use the steps listed above, you may want to consider talking to someone who can help, such as a psychologist, school counselor or other mental health professional. Turning to someone for guidance may help you help your child strengthen resilience and persevere in a time of war.

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